O Calouro Novo, o doidão que sobreviveu a um duelo suicida com os moradores de um apartamento do Posinho anda dando o que falar. Dando... Suspeita-se que a relação na SENZALA - o quarto destinado aos calouros - anda bastante apimentada. Simonal (Simony, para os íntimos) se responsabilizou pela mangueira (do gás!!) e pode ser visto vagando pelo campus dizendo coisas inaudíveis. O novo calouro também sofre de problemas de audição, então, para desespero da galera, solta sua tagarelice, um pouco mais humilde que a do Bocate e um pouco menos chata que a do Bocudo do Alfredo, acima dos 80 dB.
De onde ele veio? O que ele quer? O que se esconde por detrás desses óculos e dessa cara de débil mental?
Uma coisa nos preocupa. Simonal tem 35 anos. Por onde ele andou antes de vir parar em Viçosa? O que esse menino fez da vida? Por enquanto, ninguém entendeu o que ele quis dizer, mas a gente levantou algumas suspeitas:
AGENTE DA POLICIA FEDERAL DESFARÇADO - Para tentar descobrir mais sobre a quadrilha de narcotraficantes que tomou Viçosa, um agente se disfarçou de estudante e veio morar num apartamento limpeza de onde poderia observar e caguetar, tranquilo, todos os movimentos do tráfico.
TERRORISTA ÁRABE - Para deseminar suas idéias de destruição da civilização judaico-cristão-ocidental Odbuh Assihnin Al-Aqbah, prestou vestibular para a UFV onde tenta, com suas palavras, convencer mais homens-bombas a praticarem a Jirad e mandarem para o inferno esses porcos infiéis.
ASSASSINO SERIAL-KILLER - Depois de estrelar filmes como Pânico I, II, III, o Massacre da Serra Elétrica, Sexta-Feira 13, e não ser morto no final, Geison fugindo do FBI veio parar em Viçosa, onde espera o melhor momento para atacar... (credo)
DOENTE MENTAL EM FASE FINAL DE TRATAMENTO - Após 15 anos em tratamento intensivo á base de eletrochoques na Clínica de Repouso e Tratamento de Doenças Mentais "BIDENS BIRULETA". Sentindo-se recuperado, nosso amigo veio para Viçosa. Mas, ainda tem surtos constantes de esquisofrenia aguda.
Qual dessas opções vc acha que é a verdade? Ou tem alguma outra teoria?
20 comentários:
Esse cara não é Simonal Porra nenhuma!!! Ele é o NR432-987@*& do Planeta Tranxon, da Constelação X743, ele é um alienígena disfarçado para poder colher dados para invadir a Terra!!!
Q nada, ele é um clone defeituoso do Schawzzenager, o Exterminador do Futuro, da linhagem dos T5. Ele veio para poder exterminar o líder do movimento de resistência dos humanos contra as máquinas, o Solano, do DCE. Mas por conta do defeito, foi parar no 2021.
Que nada, vcs estão por fora. Ele é filho do rolinha com a dona Marli, empregada do 2211....
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